Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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