That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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