My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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