He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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