PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
