You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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