I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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