Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
