woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
