Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
