so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
