so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
