she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
