weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
