I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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