She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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