OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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