Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
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You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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