I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
