I am puke
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
