Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
