So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
