normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
