is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
