Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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