Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
