the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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