He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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