she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
