SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
