her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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