I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
