So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
