its not stalking. its research.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
