we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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