is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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