I just saw a hot homeless man
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
