Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
