i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
