is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
