Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
