He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
