I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she pinky promised me she was 18
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
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Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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