I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
