Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
