Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
