There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
