stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
