i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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