I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
