I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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