Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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