my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
