barbara walters just said penis...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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