why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
