if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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