i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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