we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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