UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
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People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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