i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
