We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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