This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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