Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize